Church and family - structures and responsibilities

Households, the church’s model

Two of the key concepts behind the writing of the Pauline household texts seem to be institutional and ethical order within the household of God...

1 Timothy 2:14-15 ; “I am writing these things to you so that, if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.”

When Paul uses pillar he is alluding to the household of God in the Old Testament, the place where God’s people dwelt and where God was present (e.g. Genesis 28:22 ; Exodus 13:21 , 33:10; Numbers 12:5 ; 1 Kings 7:21 ). The pillar was the house of worship, even false worship (e.g. 2 Kings 10:27 ). Paul is telling us, typologically, that the place of worshipping God (His household) has been changed from the physical temple to the church. This took place at Pentecost, when the flaming fire left the temple and landed on the heads of the apostles (Acts 2:1-4 ). Thus Paul affirms that worship in truth and spirit can only be done within the context of the new temple, the body of Christ.

This new household of God is to be given instruction on how to live. The laws segregating Jews and Gentiles were fulfilled by Christ and now the new Israel (new people in a new creation, with a new High Priest) is to be instructed in how to behave. Every kingdom has ethical mandates and the household texts of 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus, Ephesians 5:22-6:9 and Colossians 3:18-4:1 (along with all of Scripture) outline how Christ’s people are to behave and how they ought to be structured. The institutional structure of the church is modelled after the household. This text (1 Timothy 2:14-15 ) makes that clear.

Titus 1:5 ; “This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you.”

The household of God must be structured and there is to be authority and rulership. Autonomy and anarchy are not appropriate for the household of God.

The overarching Biblical structure of society, the Hebrews, Israel, the Jews and finally the church is familial (or according to the household pattern). Scriptural evidence to support this abounds - Genesis 7:1 , 17:7, 18:19; Deuteronomy 29:10-15 ; Exodus 12:26-27 ; Leviticus 16:15-17 ; Numbers 16:31-33 ; Joshua 24:15-16 ; Job 1:4-5 ; Ezekiel 37:23-26 ; John 4:53 ; Acts 2:38-39 , 10:1-2, 11:13-15, 16:13-15, 16:27-34; 1 Corinthians 1:16 ; Galatians 6:10 ; 1 Timothy 5:8 ; Titus 1:10-11 ; Hebrews 11:7 . Family is a key concept behind the way God structured His world. In the New Testament the church is the family of families and is the primary mechanism God uses to transform the world. The church is our mother (Galatians 4:26-27 ); and God requires us to honour our mother (Exodus 20:12 , Matthew 15:4 , Ephesians 6:2 ). Scripture teaches us in terms of family, God is our father (Ephesians 3:1-15 ), Christ is the Bridegroom (Ephesians 5:25 ) and the church is the bride/wife (Revelation 21:9 ), who is the heavenly Jerusalem (Hebrews 12:22-24 , Revelation 21:2 ) and the mother of us all.[1]

In Acts and the Epistles the church is further defined in three dimensions: 1. the people of God, opposed to the world (Ephesians, chapters 1-3 addresses the nature of the church and 4-6 life applications). 2. A gathered assembly, before the throne, to worship God (1 Corinthians). 3. A governmental authority/institution, in contrast with other institutions/spheres of government, e.g. family, state (1 & 2 Timothy and Titus).[ii] The primary functions of the church are to baptise and disciple the nations (Matthew 28:18-20 ), by establishing churches through building up the saints (Ephesians 4:12 ) and the frontline activities of evangelism in local communities and mission.[iii]

Church responsibilities

For the church to be faithfully obedient to her head’s Great Commission she must structure and work in the pattern of a household. Her ministries must be shaped by and directed towards this pattern. All ministries ought to be assessed by their faithfulness to Christ. This means we must disciple the people of God to live according to and into the pattern of the household rules. God’s people are to be trained/discipled into being mature worshipers.

The catholic/universal church

The catholic/universal church is important, we cannot hope to establish local churches if we don’t know who or what she is:

1. She is spoken of in the feminine; the bride/mother.
2. The catholic/universal church is the new united body (Jew/Gentile - Galatians 2:15 , 19-20, Ephesians 2:11-22 , 4:4, Philippians 2:1-9 ) in the truth (John 17:20 ) who is the new Israel (Galatians 3:27-29 ).
3. The church is “the image of the heavenly”[iv] (Hebrews 8:5 , 9:23, 12:22).
4. She is our mother - Galatians 4:26-27 ; we are to honour our mother (Exodus 20:12 , Matthew 15:4 , Ephesians 6:2 ).
5. Scripture presents a unified pattern of a familial relationship; God is our father (Ephesians 3:1-15 ), Christ is the Bridegroom (Ephesians 5:25 ) and the church is the bride/wife (Revelation 21:9 ).
6. She is the heavenly Jerusalem (Hebrews 12:22-24 , Revelation 21:2 ) and the mother of us all, who rule with Christ from the heavenly realm (Ephesians 1:19-23 ; 2:6).[v]

Local/particular churches

1. The one body of Christ is made up of many parts – particular local churches (Revelation 1:20 , 2:5).
2. These local churches are unified as part of the true vine, which is Christ (John 15:1-8 ). To remain in the vine Christ requires faithful obedience to His Word (John 15:9-10 ). In Revelation the imagery is that of lamp stands. The churches are warned of Christ coming to take away their lamp stand (Revelation 2:5 ) if they do not organise themselves according to and be obedient His Word (Revelation 2:2-6 , 14-16; 3:4-5, 10-12, 15).
3. Each local church is a mixed multitude of covenantally obedient and disobedient members (Matthew 13:24-30 , John 15:2 , 1 Corinthians 5:1 )
4. Local church elders/leaders are to administer the sacraments (Matthew 28:19-20 ; 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 ).
5. Local church elders/leaders are responsible for the particular body to gather regularly for corporate worship (1 Corinthians 11:18 ).
6. Local church elders/leaders must practise discipline over the particular congregation (1 Corinthians 5:1-5 ). These particular assemblies possess the keys of the kingdom and whatever they bind/loose is bound/loosed in heaven (Matthew 16:19 ).
7. Because “the world is driven and tempest-tossed by sins…God has given to it assemblies – we mean holy churches – in which survive the doctrines of the truth.”[vi]

Church structures in the household texts
1-2 Timothy, Titus, Ephesians 5:22-6:9 , Colossians 3:18-4:1

The household of God

All categories of people

1. Are to be characterised by: denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, living soberly lives, behaving in a righteous and godly manner, and being zealous for good works (Titus 2:12 , 14). Why? Because Jesus redeemed us from every lawless deed and is purifying His church (Titus 2:14 ).
2. Must be subject to rulers and those in authority: obedient, speak evil of no one, be peaceable, gentle, show humility to all men (Titus 3:12 ).
3. Should not be divisive and should accept rebuke and admonition by the elders (Titus 3:10 ).

Men

Ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (1 Tim 4:6 )

1. Must be a spiritual “son” of the Apostles – i.e. must hold to the Apostolic/true faith (Titus 1:4 ).
2. Is a teaching/preaching elder (2 Timothy 4: 2a) who is committed to preaching the Gospel and the mystery of the new household of God (1 Corinthians 3:16 ). He is also to ensure the church is structure as and behaving like the household of God (1 Timothy 3:14-15 ) and is able to convince, rebuke false teachers (Titus 1:13-14 ), exhort with long suffering and teaching (2 Timothy 4: 2b), which is preaching the Gospel (2 Timothy 4: 2a).
3. Good ministers instruct the brothers in faith and sound doctrine (1 Timothy 4:6 & 11), exhort others to teach no other doctrine than what is revealed in the entire counsel of God – the Gospel (1 Timothy 1:3-11 ).
4. Continue in the faith and wage war on the enemies of the Gospel (1 Timothy 1:18-20 ). Must fight the good fight of faith and lay hold of eternal life, which Timothy was commanded to do (1 Timothy 6:12-14 ).
5. Ensure prayer is made for all men and in particular for kings/rulers so that Christians can live a quiet and peaceable life in godliness and reverence (1 Timothy 2:1 ). This Godly lifestyle of Christians is, in context, used by God to draw in the lost (1 Timothy 2:3-4 ).
6. Must not prioritise bodily exercise, which profits little, over practising/exercising godliness (1 Timothy 4:8 ).
7. Be an example to all the believers in word, conduct, love, spirit, faith and purity (1 Timothy 4:12 ). Should pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience and gentleness (1 Timothy 6:11 ).
8. Command the rich not to be haughty nor trust in riches but to do good, ready to give, willing to share (1 Timothy 6:17-18 ).
9. Are commanded to instruct and exhort the congregation in the Word and sound doctrine (1 Timothy 4:12 ).
10. Must withdraw himself from men who claim to know God and then speak against him and godliness (1 Timothy 6:6 ). This godliness is the mystery Paul declares in 1 Timothy 3:16 ; “God was manifested in the flesh, Justified in the Spirit, Seen by angels, Preached among the Gentiles, Believed on in the world, Received up in glory.” These are the Gospel fundamentals.�
11. Are to rebuke and admonish a divisive person, rejecting him/her after the second admonition (Titus 3:9-11 ).�
12. Guard the faith/doctrine committed to them and avoid profane idle babblings and contradictions – false knowledge (1 Timothy 6:20 ). Hold fast to the pattern of sound doctrine, the Apostolic faith, and lifestyle (2 Timothy 1:13 , 2 Timothy 3:10-11 ).
13. The office is maintained by faithfulness to sound doctrine (2 Timothy 1:13 ), not by bloodline.
14. Must use all of Scripture to formulate doctrine, reproof, correct and instruct the people in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16 ).
15. Paul delegated the responsibility to Ministers of the Gospel (who were elders) to appoint a plurality of elders over all of the churches (Titus 1:5 ). This role is continued through local elderships appointing elders as needed.
16. Are to carefully and constantly instruct the brethren to maintain good works (Titus 3:8 , 14).

Overseers - Elders/deacons

1. God is triune, so Christ instituted that His church is to be governed by a plurality of male elders. Man is the image of God; hence he must pattern the structures of his personal and corporate life after the structure of the Trinity. We are to think God’s thoughts after Him - Acts 14:23 ; Titus 1:5 ; James 5:14 ; 1 Peter 5:1 & 5.
2. The work of an elder is good and it is good to be desired (1 Timothy 3:1 ). �
3. Ordained into the office by the laying on of hands (2 Timothy 1:6 ). Elders must not be recent converts (1 Timothy 3:6 ) as hands must not be laid on to ordain them hastily (1 Timothy 5:22 ); and they are to teach sound doctrine (1 Timothy 3:2 )�
4. Those who rule well are worthy of double honor (1 Corinthians 5:17 ) - thus should be paid (1 Timothy 5:18 ).�
5. Accusations against elders must be via two or three witnesses (1 Timothy 5:19 ).�
6. Must be able to rebuke false teachers (Titus 1:13-14 ).
7. Are able to instruct older men, treating them respectfully like fathers (1 Timothy 5:1 ), to be: sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience (Titus 2:2 ).
8. Elders and deacons are to be Biblically qualified for the office. These qualifications are familial and revolve around the man’s character in the setting of his relationships; with Christ, his family, the church and unbelievers. All of these relationships must reflect a general character of faithful obedience to the Word of God.
9. Deacons, I believe the texts indicate these men are also to serve the church (Acts 6:1-6 ) under the direction of the elders. There duties are not merely table waiting (Acts 6:2-3 ). They were to be elected to allow the elders/Apostles to give themselves to full time teaching preaching (Acts 6:2 ). These men must be of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, full of faith (Acts 6:5 ). These men were capable to dispute with gainsayers (Acts 6:8-9 ). These men served the widows and were capable of defending the faith. I believe they were apprentice elders/ministers of the Gospel (1 Timothy 3:10 ).
10. All types of overseers must be a spiritual “son” of the Apostles – i.e. must hold to the Apostolic/true faith (Titus 1:4 ). Paul is careful to further document the character traits of those who are eligible for eldership:
    

Older men

1. Are to be treated with respect and are not to be rebuked, but rather exhorted/treated like a father by the overseers (1 Timothy 5:1 ).
2. Are to be instructed in order to have/display character of being: sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience (Titus 2:2 ).

Younger men

1. Are to be sober minded in all things, lifestyles are to be patterned with good works in: sound doctrine, integrity, reverence, incorruptible, sound speech (Titus 2:6-8 ).

Women

General

1. Adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation (1 Timothy 2:8-9 ), note this instruction is set side by side with prayer in all places (1 Timothy 2:8 ).
2. Is to learn in silence and submission (1 Timothy 2:11 ), not in a position to teach or have authority over a man (1 Timothy 2:12 ). Are to remain quiet through not asking questions (to be taught) in public worship, rather they are to ask their husband (in their home) to grant him opportunity to teach her (1 Corinthians 14:34-35 ). By direct implication, women should not be in leadership roles within the church or in a position of authority in public worship.
3. Faithful women of overseers must be reverent, temperate and faithful in all things (1 Timothy 3:11 ).

Older women

1. Are to be treated gently, with respect; as mothers (1 Timothy 5:2 ).
2. Must be taught/instructed by the elders/minister of the gospel (Titus 2:1 ) to: have reverent in behaviour, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things (Titus 2:3 ).
3. The goal of the above training is so that older women may: admonish the young women (Titus 2:4 ). This teaching is in the context of how to: love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed (Titus 2:4-5 ).

Younger women

1. Must be regarded with respect; as sisters (1 Timothy 5:2 ).
2. Younger women should marry to: bear children, manage their house and be godly (by inference of younger widows in 1 Timothy 5:14 ).
3. The general responsibilities of younger women are to: love their husbands and children; be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands (Titus 2:4-5 ).

Widows

1. Widows must qualify to be counted (1 Timothy 5:3 , 5); they must be honoured. Her blood-family must be the first to take care of her (1 Timothy 5:4 ).
2. A true widow is over 60 and was the wife of one man, well reported for her good works of: raising her children, been hospitable to strangers, looked after the sick, been diligent and served the church (1 Timothy 5:9-10 ) and; trusts God, continues in prayers and supplications, does not live in pleasure (1 Timothy 5:5-6 ).
3. Younger widows are to re-marry to: bear children, manage their house and be godly (1 Timothy 5:14 ).

Individual households

�General

1. Is the microcosm of the church (Ephesians 5:22-33 ).
2. A new household, with a new authority structure is created when a man leaves his home (father and mother) to cleave to his wife in marriage (Ephesians 5:31-32 ).
3. Must be structured with a head/ruler of the household (husband – 1 Timothy 3:4 , 12) and a head of the home (wife – 1 Timothy 5:14 , Titus 2:5 ), with obedient children who submit to their parents (Ephesians 6:1-3 , Colossians 3:20 ).
4. Are to be given to hospitality (Romans 12:13 ), which is to be extended to the household of faith and strangers (Genesis 19:1-11 , Exodus 22:21 , 23:9, Leviticus 19:34 , 1 Timothy 3:2 , Titus 1:8 , Hebrews 13:1-2 ).

Husbands

1. Is the head of the household, all things in the household are thus his responsibility (Ephesians 5:23 ). His rulership is to be patterned after Christ’s service/dying for the church (Ephesians 5:25 ).
2. Christ commands husbands to love their wife (and by extension children) as Christ loved the church , His body (Ephesians 5:25 , 28). This means a husband’s preeminent ministry focus is his wife, he is to: wash her in the Word through discipleship (Ephesians 5:26 ).
3. Must provide for his own household (1 Timothy 5:8 ).
4. God requires a man to leave his father and mother (home) to join in marriage with his wife. The man’s duty is to leave and cleave (Ephesians 5:30-31 ).
5. Are commanded to teach their children in the admonition of the Lord, without provoking them to wrath (Ephesians 6:4 , cf.) This provocation would be not training them in the admonition of the Lord. This includes adequately and justly chastising disobedient children (Hebrews 13:6-10 , cf. Deuteronomy 8:5 , Psalm 94:12 , 119:75, Proverbs 3:11-12 , Revelation 3:19 ). Love for God and the child’s soul (Proverbs 23:14 ) must always be antecedent to chastening (Hebrews 13:6 ).

Wives

1. Must submit to their own husband as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22 , Colossians 3:18 ). This submission is patterned after the church’s submission to Christ in all things (Ephesians 5:24 ). From this we understand that a wife has the Biblical prerogative to disobey her husband when he instructs her to sin – because Christ does not require sinful submission by His bride. Overall, this requires a wife to be faithfully obedient to her husband.
2. Is commanded to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33 ). A wife is not merely to obey her husband, she is to respect/honour him.
3. Should ask her husband, in their home, to instruct her in things she does not understand – so that she is quiet in the church (1 Corinthians 34-35 ).
4. Must love their husband and children by being: obedient to their husband, a home maker (Titus 2:4-5 ) and raising her children (1 Timothy 5:9-10 ). This does not infer that a wife is not allowed out of the house (Proverbs 31 )! Her major emphasis should be on homemaking, raising children and hospitality.

Children

1. Are holy/set apart and sanctified by one believing parent (2 Corinthians 7:14 ).
2. Must be obedient to and honour their parents (Ephesians 6:1-3 , Colossians 3:20 ). This is to be done in all things.

Bond servants

1. Must be obedient to their master as if they were submitting to Christ (Ephesians 6:5 ). This obedience is to be genuine and all of them time (Ephesians 6:6 ). They are to count their master worthy of honour (1 Timothy 6:1 ) so that the name of God and His doctrine may not be blasphemed (1 Timothy 6:1 ).
2. Those who have believing masters are to serve them and not despise them (1 Timothy 6:2 ).
3. Paul calls himself a bondservant (Titus 1:1 ). This type of servant was not an ordinary slave but one who chose to serve his master in perpetuity, he would be brought to the judges and then as a sign his master would take him to his doorpost and use an awl to pierce his ear (i.e. was typologically circumcised – Exodus 21:5-6 ). This servant was treated as an adopted member of the household. So Paul, and all in Christ, are adopted into God’s house.
4. Do not seek to unlawfully seek your freedom if you were called while a slave, but if it is possible to gain then gain it (1 Corinthians 7:20-24 ). All servants/slaves are free in Christ (1 Corinthians 7:22 ).

Masters

1. Must show honour to their servants, treating them like brethren (Ephesians 6:9 ) and giving them just and fair circumstances (Colossians 4:1 ).